College undergrad time. I was dressed like Isaac Newton, wig and all. However, I was rather a giant Issac Newton, weighing 280lb. It was summer and the campus was mostly empty, so we decided to throw a party there. So the party starts and I'm getting crunked. I'm drinking whatever out of solo cups. One moment I sat down and grabbed my solo cup and drank it all up. Well, turns out it was a fucking beer-ashtray with probably 10 different people’s cigarette butts in it, and surely NOT my drink.
I immediately ran outside and threw up. Then I came back in, rinsed my throat with whatever hard liquor I could find first, and passed out on that couch with the party still going. I woke up the morning after. I remembered I had a standardized test to take starting at 9 that morning. The first thing I thought was ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck...did I miss it?’, so I run outside, yelled at the first person I saw across the street ‘What time is it!?’.
The person yelled back ‘9:30!!’ I yell ‘Fuuuuuck!!!’ And started running towards the building where the test was taking place. Still dressed as Isaac Newton. No shower. Cigarette butt and booze breath. Everyone laughed at me. But I did pass that damned test.
Copyright ©MuseumOfHangovers 2020. All rights reserved.